# zt - taking responsibility for our feelings
## Source
- [[book - Non-violent-communication]]
## Keywords (topics and howto)
- [[topic - leading and managing]]
- [[topic - information management]]
- [[topic - communicate effectively]]
- [[how to be a better father]]
- [[how to be a better leader]]
- [[how to make sense of the world]]
- [[how to be a better communicator]]
## Related notes
- [[zt - NVC summary]]
- [[zt - expressing feelings]]
## Notes
To take responsibility for your feelings use a sentence like:
> "I feel ... because I need ..."
What others say can be the STIMULUS, but not the cause of our feelings.
### What to do when we get a negative message
1. Blame us. (WRONG)
2. Blame others. (WRONG)
3. Sense our own feelings and needs. Focus on our own feeling and needs. What I want. (OK)
4. Sense other feeling and needs. Focus on the other feelings and needs. (BEST)